The Gay Blades Tour Logs From Drummer Puppy Mills, PT2

PUPPY CHOW 2

Kansas City, MO - Gate's Bar-B-Q:

When you pull into the parking lot of Gate's Bar-B-Q, the little arrow sign
at the entrance to the parking lot that usually says "Enter"
instead says "HI". This pretty much gets you ready for the experience you
are about to have at Gate's (or pretty much anywhere in the midwest / south
for that matter): Polite, but simple.

Gate's has six locations, most of which are in Kansas City, MO, which is not
in Kansas. (It's like how the NY Giants play in NJ.. it probably has the
same amount of steroid riddled meat too.) When you walk in to the
restaurant, the women behind the counter greet you with polite enthusiasm,
alien to us, as we are so used to eating in restaurants in NYC, where the
most you'll get is "NEXT!"

So anyway, I ordered the burnt ends sandwich, and the other guys ordered the
combo plates (ribs, ham & beef). Burnt ends are "the ends of a smoked beef
brisket, trimmed off and double-smoked". It tastes like someone took all
the little meat pieces that find their way to the edge of the grill after
hours of cheese-steak making, and then stuffed them into a sandwich.. but in
a good way. It was super-smoky tasting, and when dipped into Gate's
original and hot sauces, was a messy greasy feast that melted the bun in
your hand, and their fries were the perfect amount of crispy on the outside,
soft in the middle.

Now I have to give props to the ribs, which I ate for the experience alone,
since I usually don't like ribs. These tasted like they were ripped from
the chest of god himself, and then slow cooked in a magical tasty-matic oven
invented by Thomas Edison's ghost. I got so mad that I had wasted stomach
space on the burnt ends sandwich (which, as I said, was really good when not
being compared to the ribs) and flipped the table in a fit of rage. The
super-friendly staff then came over, fixed and cleaned everything up,
refilled our drinks and offered us a to-go box. Seriously, the wait staff
there is incredible.

Aside from their awesome food, they also sell their eponymous sauces for
under $3 for each 8 oz. bottle, and gift packs of bbq sauces and spices too.
On the BBQ scale of "Tough-Guy Texas Style BBQ" to my uncle Ron's "of course
ketchup and steak sauce mixed together is the same as BBQ sauce" I rate
Gate's Bar-B-Q "Table Flippin' Good." Also, they give you extra (free)
sides of their sauce and to-go cups for your soda when you leave.

God's ribs. Seriously.

The Gay Blades Tour Logs by drummer Puppy Mills

[The Gay Blades Tour Log | MySpace.com/GayBlades]

Touring is great. Sleeping in a van with 3-8 dudes in Texas on a 95 degree humid day. Playing stages in hot rooms with bad sound. Carrying equipment. Arm wrestling bouncers. All of these are "part of the job" when it comes to touring... so when Mishmash Magazine asked me to do a blog reviewing all the crazy foods we could find on the road, I jumped at the chance. I mean, how often do you get to eat all the crappy, heart attack inducing food you can handle and actually have a legitimate reason for doing so (other than just "being an American")?

Cincinnati, OH - Skyline Chili:


Skyline chili is a small chain of Ohio chili restaurants originally opened by a Greek immigrant whose secret chili ingredients include chocolate and cinnamon. I ordered the 3-way chili which is spaghetti, chili, and cheese, and a "Coney" which is a mini hot dog, also smothered in chili and cheese. (The 4-way chili includes onions, which taste bad, and the 5-way chili has onions & kidney beans, which taste bad and are gross.) I also opted for the habanero cheese and a crap load of hot sauce on both dishes. Let me tell you something; if you play drums fairly violently in hot clubs for forty minutes at a time, and you want to be able to throw up a little bit in your mouth every couple of minutes during your set, just eat any greasy food smothered in hot sauce within the two hours before your set. Drinking warm beer during the set helps too. Eating Skyline chili and hot dogs with hot cheese and extra hot sauce not only lets you taste your food again while playing, it also makes people who clean bathrooms that band guys use hate god.


On the chili scale of "Hormel" to "Soylent Green", Skyline Chili gets a rating of "Cinnamon" - it's bittersweet and you don't want it in most foods.. including chili...