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Monday, July 28, 2008

The Gay Blades Tour Logs From Drummer Puppy Mills, PT2


Kansas City, MO - Gate's Bar-B-Q:

When you pull into the parking lot of Gate's Bar-B-Q, the little arrow sign
at the entrance to the parking lot that usually says "Enter"
instead says "HI". This pretty much gets you ready for the experience you
are about to have at Gate's (or pretty much anywhere in the midwest / south
for that matter): Polite, but simple.

Gate's has six locations, most of which are in Kansas City, MO, which is not
in Kansas. (It's like how the NY Giants play in NJ.. it probably has the
same amount of steroid riddled meat too.) When you walk in to the
restaurant, the women behind the counter greet you with polite enthusiasm,
alien to us, as we are so used to eating in restaurants in NYC, where the
most you'll get is "NEXT!"

So anyway, I ordered the burnt ends sandwich, and the other guys ordered the
combo plates (ribs, ham & beef). Burnt ends are "the ends of a smoked beef
brisket, trimmed off and double-smoked". It tastes like someone took all
the little meat pieces that find their way to the edge of the grill after
hours of cheese-steak making, and then stuffed them into a sandwich.. but in
a good way. It was super-smoky tasting, and when dipped into Gate's
original and hot sauces, was a messy greasy feast that melted the bun in
your hand, and their fries were the perfect amount of crispy on the outside,
soft in the middle.

Now I have to give props to the ribs, which I ate for the experience alone,
since I usually don't like ribs. These tasted like they were ripped from
the chest of god himself, and then slow cooked in a magical tasty-matic oven
invented by Thomas Edison's ghost. I got so mad that I had wasted stomach
space on the burnt ends sandwich (which, as I said, was really good when not
being compared to the ribs) and flipped the table in a fit of rage. The
super-friendly staff then came over, fixed and cleaned everything up,
refilled our drinks and offered us a to-go box. Seriously, the wait staff
there is incredible.

Aside from their awesome food, they also sell their eponymous sauces for
under $3 for each 8 oz. bottle, and gift packs of bbq sauces and spices too.
On the BBQ scale of "Tough-Guy Texas Style BBQ" to my uncle Ron's "of course
ketchup and steak sauce mixed together is the same as BBQ sauce" I rate
Gate's Bar-B-Q "Table Flippin' Good." Also, they give you extra (free)
sides of their sauce and to-go cups for your soda when you leave.

God's ribs. Seriously.

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